Inside Pandoraz Boxx

Weird Ass Shit

2005-11-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

So I see that I haven't blogged in like... oh... FOREVER. Didja miss me!?!?! Yeah, most people do.

For lack of anything better to do tonight, I googled "weird ass shit." Here's what I came up with:

a knitted digestive system

some weird ass STUFF

butt-print art

the web fridge project

Original Mullet Wigs-- notice that all 4 styles are IN STOCK...

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Crescent Moon

2005-10-08T01:31:00.000-06:00

When the waxing crescent rose tonite, it was a deep orange cradle in the sky. Spellbinding... mesmerising... moongazing...

Banned Books

2005-10-01T01:40:00.000-06:00

I'm a bit tardy-- Banned Books Week ended with the end of September. But I thought I'd post about it anyway...

Banned Books Week: Celebrating the Freedom to Read is observed during the last week of September each year. Observed since 1982, the annual event reminds Americans not to take this precious democratic freedom for granted.

Banned Books Week (BBW) celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one’s opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular and stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of those unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints to all who wish to read them. After all, intellectual freedom can exist only where these two essential conditions are met.

Books on the list below that are in bold purple are books I have personally read (and quite a few that I currently own). GASP! Pandora the rebel!

The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990–20001

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

There are also quite a few books on this list that I would like to read, have meant to read and never gotten around to it... Like A Wrinkle in Time and Julie of the Wolves... and anything by Robert Cormier is bound to be good as well-- I love another one of his that is not on the list, called I Am the Cheese.

I'm not suprised to see Lois Duncan's Killing Mr. Griffin on the list-- I am suprised that only ONE of her books is on the list... Daughters of Eve also comes to mind as potential banned book material.

I remember that Judy Blume books were all the rage at my elementary school. Why? Because she was talking about things you weren't supposed to talk about-- God, getting boobs, getting your period, sex... We wanted to *know* about this stuff. Nobody talked about it, but at least we could read about it.

“[I]t’s not just the books under fire now that worry me. It is the books that will never be written. The books that will never be read. And all due to the fear of censorship. As always, young readers will be the real losers.” — Judy Blume

Amen, sister.

Cindy Arrested

2005-09-28T12:58:00.000-06:00

It seems you need a permit to demonstrate in front of the White House. Cindy and her group seem to be pretty smart and informed protestors, I would think they would have known this. I wonder if they deliberately ignored it-- more publicity for the protest if they get arrested?

Sheehan arrested in front of White House
Civil disobedience meant to protest Iraq war

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Cindy Sheehan, the California woman who became a leader of the anti-war movement following her son's death in Iraq, was arrested Monday along with dozens of others protesting outside the White House.

Sheehan, carrying a photo of her son in his Army uniform, was among hundreds of protesters who marched around the White House and then down the two-block pedestrian walkway on Pennsylvania Avenue. When they reached the front of the White House, dozens sat down -- knowing they would be arrested -- and began singing and chanting "Stop the war now!"

Police warned them three times that they were breaking the law by failing to move along, then began making arrests. One man climbed over the White House fence and was quickly subdued by Secret Service agents.

Sheehan, 48, was the first taken into custody. She smiled as she was carried to the curb, then stood up and walked to a police vehicle while protesters chanted, "The whole world is watching."

About 50 people were arrested in the first hour, with dozens of others waiting to be taken away. All cooperated with police.

Sgt. Scott Fear, spokesman for the U.S. Park Police, said they would be charged with demonstrating without a permit, which is a misdemeanor.

You can read the rest of the article HERE.

So Mabon Has Nothing to Do With It?

2005-09-22T23:11:00.000-06:00

Happy Mabon to all my fellow pagans!

But here's the deal: its my current understanding that Mabon has nothing to actually do with Mabon. So it isn't REALLY Mabon then, is it?

I've kinda been wondering about the whole Mabon thing for a while. Every witchy 101 book one reads seems to talk about how the autumn equinox is called Mabon. And I know that Mabon (ap Modron) is a Celtic god (specifically, Welsh). But never has the connection between the god and the sabbat been explained in anything I've read. Perhaps because there is no connection?

According to Welsh mythology, Mabon (meaning "divine son") is the son of Modron ("divine mother"). He is a hunter god, and was stolen from his mother 3 days after his birth. He lived with Annwn in the underworld until he was rescued by Culhwch. So what has this to do with harvest festivities or the equinox? Well, there ya go...

Evidently, nothing.

In an article by Brian Walsh, he states "many American Wiccans, and pagans who take their cue from them, have come to call the Harvesttide, 'Mabon'. Some have attributed this association of the appellation `Mabon' with Harvesttide, to Aidan Kelly.

Regardless, calling Harvesttide, 'Mabon', began in the US in the 1970's, and is an innovation that has increased in popularity, spreading quickly among those who do not know anything about the deity Mabon. A fact made more striking when the deity Mabon, for whom this holiday is named, often does not figure in the 'Mabon' rites. There are many things that Mabon is, but currently there is no evidence or indication that Mabon was ever a harvest god." (emphasis mine)

How interesting is THAT!?!? I feel I've been bamboozled all this time...

Of course, this is just one article, and I'd prefer to follow up with more evidence that corroborates it, but it IS something to think about.

Here's hoping I haven't spoiled your Mabon... errr... Autumn Equinox... or, uhhh... Second Harvest Festival, Feast of Avalon, Cornucopia, Wine Harvest, the Fall Equinox, Harvest Home, Harvesttide, Festival of Dionysus, Alban Elfed (Caledonii, Druidic), Winter Finding (Teutonic), or Equinozio di Autunno (Strega). Yeah, THAT. Exactly.

Fur is Obscenely Inhumane

2005-09-21T22:48:00.000-06:00

Martha Stewart gives up fur, makes PETA video

September 21, 2005, 3:16 PM EDT

NEW YORK -- Martha Stewart, who says she's given up fur, has made a video for PETA.

"I used to wear fur, but like many others, I had a change of heart when I learned what actually happens to the animals," Stewart says in the video.

The 5-minute video on the fur trade is narrated by Stewart and is available on PETA's Web site, http://www.peta.org.

"So much violence in the world seems beyond our control, but this is one cruelty we can stop by being informed consumers," she says.

Stewart's turnaround came this spring when she began communicating from jail by letter with Dan Mathews, the vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Stewart, 64, served five months in a West Virginia federal prison for lying about a 2001 stock sale. That was followed by nearly six months of house arrest, which concluded Sept. 1.

Okay, I've heard good and bad about PETA and their tactics for procuring animal rights, some methods straightforward, some underhanded. But the video footage referred to in the above story is pretty staightforward. What happens to these animals is obscenely inhumane.

I think I've got a pretty strong stomach. I've seen some pretty awful footage on baby seal hunts, etc. I watched this video. What is done to these animals is horrible. But it was the last little bit of footage that showed how OBSCENELY INHUMANE the fur industry is. I had to concentrate-- really concentrate on not vomiting. I kid you not. And this image has been in my head all day. It was obscenely inhumane.

I am a meat-and-potatoes kind of gal, grew up that way. Today, after watching that video, in particular the last clip of footage, I could not bring myself to eat meat. Not for lunch. Not for dinner. And who knows how long it will last. Maybe I'm on the road to becoming vegetarian, I don't know.

I'm gonna say it one more time: the methods used to provide people with their fashionable little furs is OBSCENELY INHUMANE. If you don't believe me, then go watch the video. Especially the last 30 seconds or so.

The Silver Lady

2005-09-17T23:56:00.000-06:00

Silver Lady beckons me
Out into the night.
She calls me through the window,
"Come, bask in my silvery light."

Silver Lady beckons me
She holds me close in her embrace,
"Come lie upon the silken grass
and gaze into my face."

Silver Lady beckons me
She draws me to her silver glow
She whispers softly in my ear
Of all she thinks I need to know...

Flavorful

2005-09-17T00:25:00.000-06:00

Yep, I'd say this one is pretty accurate...

Mmm, I am Lemon Flavoured.
I am bitter and twisted. Expect from me acerbic humour and sharp commentary. While I may seem nasty at first, I'm actually quite good company if I like you, so long as you don't mind a bit of cutting to the chase.

What Flavour Are You?

Meme on Religion

2005-09-15T18:06:00.000-06:00

Tagged by Niobium, ages and ages ago...

Why do you choose the religion you embrace?

Even as a young kid, I could never shake the feeling that God didn't like women. Eve screwed up the Garden of Eden with her sin. Seemed like the women in the Bible were all sinners & prostitutes... or virgins... or just not important enough for God to interact with. And I was a woman, so how did I know he liked ME?

My first taste of Goddess-centered spirituality came when my mom took me to a UU church. I remember they talked about God AND the Goddess. Mother Goddess. I also remember I thought they were freaks. What the hell? Everyone knew God was a man. How could a woman be divine?

In college, the guy I was dating got a book on witchcraft. He bragged about how he was going to curse his enemies and so forth. I don't know that he ever really read the book. It was Scott Cunninghams's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. I browsed through it, but didn't pick up on much beyond the kindness of Deity and connection to nature.

Fast forward several years. The twelve step programs were ruling my life, and if you are familiar with the 12-steps, you'll know that Step 2 is: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And so began my journey to find a Power greater than myself.

I tried to find a loving God. I found a church that I'd heard good things about and I decided to go. It was springtime, Easter. I thought it would an uplifting time to return to the church. But all the prayers and hymns were about how we were sinners and needed Jesus to die for us, so that we could be forgiven, etc. etc. etc. And I found myself getting more and more sad. I could hardly sit through the whole service.

After the service, I sat out in my car in the church parking lot and cried. Because I felt I had lost God. How could he love me? I was a woman and a sinner. That was the week I went to the bookstore and bought my own copy of Cunningham's Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. Reading about paganism made me realize that I've always been a witch, I just didn't know it.

How religious are you? How often do you practice your religion?

I shy away from the word religion. Yes, I believe paganism & witchcraft are legitimate religions, but I tend to practice the more spiritual side of it. I'm not big into ceremonial stuff. I try to honor the sun and moon tides, sometimes go to public rituals, although I feel more of a connection with the Divine when I'm practicing alone.

Why is this religion the right one for you?

Paganism/witchcraft has meaning for me. I understand it. I agree with it. And through it, I have found a loving Goddess and even a loving God. It touches something ancient in my soul, something primal. It connects me to nature, my ancestors, and the divine within myself.

How does the practice of this religion improve your life or what benefit do you recieve from its practice?

See previous question. Also, it heals me, comforts me and empowers me.

Are you spiritual as well as religious? or is one more prevalent than the other?

Using the word religion usually makes me cringe. I like to think of myself as a spiritual person. There's always room for improvement, though.

Moore's Letter to Shrub Supporters

2005-09-13T17:42:00.000-06:00

I know most of y'all have probably read Michael Moore's scathing letter to the prez; I happened across this more recent one addressed to those who voted for the Shrub. Forgive me for posting it in its entire length... but since it echoes some of my own feelings, I thought it was rather worth posting it all.

Sunday, September 11th, 2005
A Letter to All Who Voted for George W. Bush from Michael Moore

To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That's right. Horse shows.

I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.

Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?

With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the window at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com

Speaking of the News Media...

2005-09-01T18:00:00.000-06:00

... and I just was in my last post...

It appears that racism is alive and well in news coverage. Take a close look at the circled words in the two news captions below:

Notice that the BLACK man "looted" a local grocery store, while the WHITE man and woman simply "found" their food at a local grocery store.

Thank you Associated Press for perpetuating racial stereotypes!

(from The News Blog)

Not Watching

2005-09-01T17:22:00.000-06:00

Remember weeks ago when I blogged about how I'm not watching any TV? I'm still not watching. Even stuff about Katrina? Even stuff about Katrina.

Why not? I just can't do that to myself. I remember Columbine. I remember 9/11. I remember spending days in front of the TV watching endless hours of horrifying footage, crying my eyes out, feeling helpless, hopeless, angry, apalled, unable to function from the grief. Some of those images are still burned in my mind.

Its not that I don't care about whats happening to those in Katrina's wake. I care greatly. But I want to DO something, not helplessly witness the suffering!

My friend asked me, "Don't you want to be informed about what's going on?" Yes, absolutely. I want to know what the Shrub is up to (very little, so far, it seems); what is he going to do to help his country's people? But I just can't bring myself to watch the horror and suffering on TV. And it makes me sick thinking about how the news media is just having a heyday over all of this-- its not fellow humans suffering to the news media, its a HEADLINE! Its a NEWS FLASH! Its a race to be the first station with the story!

I may not be watching endless hours of news coverage, but I am trying to stay informed. And I am becoming more and more angry about what I am reading and hearing in regards to the current administration's seemingly indifferent reaction to this disaster and suffering. And the angrier I get, the more frustrated I get. And what can I do about it? Can't change the president. Can't change the way the curent administration is running the country.

I want to know: what can I DO thats going to make a difference?

Cyborg Name Generator

2005-08-26T13:35:00.000-06:00

I absolutely love it!!

Snagged from Suburban Treehugger.

Make Me

2005-08-22T14:56:00.000-06:00

A little bit of Monday fluff, shamelessly poached from Niobium.

How to make a pandorazboxx

Ingredients:

1 part anger

1 part courage

3 parts instinct

Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Figures, Don't It?

2005-08-21T00:24:00.000-06:00

Here I'm thinking I'll end up one of the 50, but no...

Denial - you'd never admit to anything, no
weakness, no concern, no problem, and no fun

What State Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Interesting Tactic

2005-08-19T18:58:00.000-06:00

Goddess called in to scare off tsunami ghosts

BANGKOK (Reuters) - With Asian tourists still shunning its southern beaches, Thailand is calling in a revered Chinese sea goddess to ward off the restive spirits of the thousands who died in last December's tsunami.

A statue of Godmother Ruby, known as Mazu in Chinese, will be brought to the Thai island of Phuket from the Chinese coastal province of Fujian next month for ghost-clearing rites, said Suwalai Pinpradab of the Tourism Authority of Thailand.

"After the tsunami, Taiwanese, Hong Kong, Chinese and other East Asians dare not come because they don't want to visit places where mass deaths took place," Suwalai told Reuters on Friday. "It is inauspicious."

Mazu, a Taoist goddess of the sea, has a huge following among fishermen and shipworkers in coastal provinces of southern China and Taiwan.

Thailand's official death toll from the December 26 disaster stands at 5,395, of which 2,436 are believed to be foreigners. Of these, fewer than 50 were East Asians.

It is interesting to me that they are calling a Goddess to scare away the spirits of the victims (I wonder if this is a journalists interpretation of what is happening). My thoughts would be more along the lines of asking the Goddess to help the spirits find their way to peace and rest. Perhaps Mazu, also known as a healer, can help do this.

For more on Mazu, check out this article.

Recycling Rant

2005-08-18T18:13:00.000-06:00

So, here's the deal: I live in the Big City, in a state that is proud of its wide open spaces and natural beauty. SO WHY ISN'T RECYCLING MANDATORY? One would think that in such a place it would be. Or maybe its just me that thinks that.

I recycle. My city's recycling program is a bit on the lame side, it could definately do more than its doing. BUT, its a start. We do what we can.

My friends live where there is an EXCELLENT recycling program-- it takes just about everything. My friends have gone from throwing away 5-6 bags of garbage a week to ONLY ONE BAG A WEEK. Everything else gets recycled! How kewl is that!?!?

Now, just think if recycling was mandatory... Every single household only having 1 or 2 BAGS of garbage a week, and everything else being recycled. Instead of what I see each week right now... 3 to 4 GARBAGE CANS FULL per household. ACK!

Just think of how much, every week, is being thrown out that COULD be reused, reduced or recycled! We have miles of acres dedicated to our garbage that needn't be if only we RECYCLED MORE! There's a finite amount of space on earth. We're rapidly filling it up with garbage.

WHY ISN'T RECYCLING A MANDATORY LAW!?!?!

Follow-Up News

2005-08-18T16:06:00.000-06:00

Remember that article I posted a while back about the divorced Wiccan parents? Good news!

COURT OVERTURNS JUDGE'S ORDER IN WICCA CASE

A judge exceeded his authority by ordering an Indianapolis Wiccan activist and his ex-wife to shield their 9-year-old son from what his decree called their "non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals," the Indiana Court of Appeals ruled Wednesday.

The appeals court threw out the order from Marion Superior Court Judge Cale Bradford, citing a state law that gives a custodial parent the authority to determine a child's upbringing -- including religious training -- unless certain exceptions are met.

Divorcing parents can agree to allow such orders, or judges can find that certain limitations on upbringing are needed to protect the child from physical and emotional harm.

Read the complete article HERE.

I See All!

2005-08-04T21:47:00.000-06:00

Overall, Your Observation Skills Get: F

You would be more observant if you were blind.
Or totally stoned out of your mind :-)

How Observant Are You?

I Been Tagified

2005-08-03T19:29:00.000-06:00

Garnet got me. So here I go. Hold on...

What I wuz doin' 10 years ago-
Starting down the long and winding path to my first nevous breakdown.

5 years ago-
Starting down the short and pretty straight path to my second nervous breakdown.

1 year ago-
I was working on having a pretty decent tan. I got new Birkenstocks by mail, since the only store in my area that could get my odd & small size (35) for me had closed.

Yesterday-
I walked a labyrinth. I also saw the documentary "March of the Penguins." Go see it! Very well done!

5 snax I enjoy-
chocolate fudge frosting
movie popcorn with white cheddar cheese topping
baby carrots
cup o' noodles
chik-o-stix

5 songs I know all the words to-
enjoy the silence- depeche mode
does your mother know- ABBA (ABBA rocks, by the way... and does anyone remember this song besides me? its one of the only ones that the guys sang lead vocals on)
midnight- yaz
tempted- squeeze
silver threads & golden needles- linda rondstat

5 things I would do with $100 mil-
go pet whales
get me & my man both 1964 1/2 ford mustangs with lots of chrome
donate $$ to no-kill animal shelters, other charities
buy my way onto an episode of CSI as Grissom's pagan love interest
buy a castle to live in on a private island

5 locations I'd run away to-
Lake Tahoe
Mackinac Island
Broadway
Salem, MA
Australia

5 things I like doing-
sleeping
eating
RELAXING
learning
creating

5 bad habits I have-
trailing off in the middle of a sentance
rearranging things on store shevles
belching constantly out loud in public
phone silence
turning down other people's radios in their homes, cars, etc.

5 things I would never wear (again)-
gellie shoes
terry cloth summer jumpers
contact lenses (well, they say they have been greatly improved, but I'd just have to see about that...)
butt floss underwear
long hair

5 TV shows I like-
CSI- the original one
THERE IS NO OTHER TV

5 biggest joys of the moment-
rain
very comfy new shirt in purple tye dye
enjoy the silence
a cold diet coke
sharing cozy blankie with friends

5 favorite toys-
fire/matches/candles
computer
silly putty
camera
new hair doo-dads

whew... I made it....

GAYSROK

2005-07-30T22:44:00.000-06:00

Woman Wins Appeal for 'GAYSROK' License Plate

By Mark Thiessen Associated Press Writer
Published: Jul 27, 2005

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - The state of Utah can't block a woman from using her license plate to tell the world "GAYSROK," a judge has ruled.

The state has no good reason to prevent Elizabeth Solomon from having that plate - which can be read "Gays are OK" or "Gays Rock" - or another one saying "GAYRYTS," according to Jane Phan, an administrative law judge with the Utah State Tax Commission.

Elizabeth Solomon rocks. The judge's ruling rocks. You can read the rest of this rockin' article HERE.

Thats Kinda Sad

2005-07-25T22:21:00.000-06:00

Went to an amusement park recently. Upon entering I noticed these things:

1. Everyone had to go thru a metal detector

2. Random checks were done on bags and purses, etc. for weapons

3. Wearing bandana handkerchiefs with "teardrop" designs were forbidden (because of gang associations)

4. Chains of any kind, even wallet chains, were not allowed

5. The closer it got to evening, the more security/police officers there were in the park

How sad is that? At a family-oriented amusement park! Whats the world coming to?

Boob-Tube Free

2005-07-12T17:37:00.000-06:00

Wow. Just... wow. Do you realize (as I just did today) that its been approximately THREE WEEKS since I have watched ANY television at all? I can't even remember the last time I turned on the TV. Really. Honestly. No kidding. I swear.

Now, this doesn't include video. I have watched one German documentary from the 1920's on the history of witchcraft. I also have watched two wonderfully horrible "B" horror movies; one from the fabulously infamous worst director of all times, Ed Wood. It was called "Bride of the Monster" (originally titled Bride of the Atom). The other was an early 90's but-oh-so-totally-80's effort (I hesitate to say film) called "The Surge." The reluctant hero of the movie had this Robert Smith-look going on (remember The Cure?), and the further into the movie, the more he looked like Robert Smith. Which, you know, would have made me totally hot for him, if it had still been the 80's...

OH OKAY! It did it for me anyway even in 2005! I admit it! I totally wanted him!

But I digress...

Now I watched these 3 videos with friends, and had it not been for them then I doubt I would have been in front of a TV at all. EVEN THOUGH I saw that a week 0r 2 ago one of my *fave* CSI episodes of all time was going to be on (Lady Heather's Boxx), still, I did not even venture downstairs to the boob-tube.

Thats another thing. Strange as it may be to some people, we do not have the TV in the main part of our house. It is not in the living room. It is downstairs in the family room.

And thats another thing. We have ONE TV. Only one. Downstairs in the family room. We DO NOT have one in the bedroom, nor do we wish to-- the man & I vehemently AGREE that the bedroom is no place for a TV. We do not have one in the kitchen, either, as so many people do. No. Not at all. Just one. Downstairs. In the family room. Which I have not watched in approximately 3 weeks.

Does this make me strange?

I've Said It Before

2005-07-09T22:43:00.000-06:00

... but I'll say it again....

To Protect and Serve?

2005-07-06T17:38:00.000-06:00

A pagan couple in South Carolina believes their bumpersticker was the ultimate reason behind their traffic stop. As unbelieveable as that sounds, what happened next was even more so. The officer began prostelytizing them while he gave them a citation!

It is incredible to what lengths some Christians feel they have a right to go to, to convert or "save" others. This officer also used information from the traffic stop to write the couple a letter, sent to their personal address, inviting them to his Bible study group!

Makes no difference that he was a volunteer officer. He'd been volunteering for, I think, 14 years. How many people do you think he pulled over and proselytized over the years? Probably an outrageous amount. Did anyone else ever raise a stink? Who knows? Perhaps someone did, but it was swept under the rug. Not in this case, though.

To read more about this bizarre story, including the officer's letter inviting the couple to Bible study, and subsequent documentation from the couple as they demand action be taken, go HERE.

Attack of the Solicitors

2005-07-06T17:35:00.000-06:00

What was the deal yesterday!?!? We were visited by THREE solicitors yesterday afternoon!

First it was a guy selling siding. Then a guy selling home security systems. When the doorbell rang the 3rd time, I told my man, "It's all yours, hon." A dude selling a household wonder cleanser.

I swore if the doorbell rang again, they could just keep ringing.

I'm Asking Nicely

2005-07-01T23:07:00.000-06:00

To Whom It May Concern:

I do not know where you live, but it is obvious to me that you live in a time zone far different than my own. I know this because when you send your fax to the incorrect number (that is to say, MINE), as you have done 2-3 times a week for the past 2 weeks, MY PHONE rings at approximately 2:15 AM.

And when my phone rings at approximately 2:15 AM, jarring me rudely awake, I am sometimes unable to get back to sleep again until an hour or more has passed. Which makes me extremely unhappy. Extremely. Unhappy.

So I beg of you-- unknown, inaccurate, fax sender: CHECK THE FUCKING NUMBER AND DIAL CAREFULLY NEXT TIME YOU ATTEMPT TO SEND YOUR FUCKING FAX, BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY PISSING ME OFF.

Sincerely Yours,

Pandora Boxx

Left Behind

2005-06-28T12:30:00.000-06:00

There is a new theory out on Jack the Ripper yet again. Someone else thinks they know who he was. The truth is, people can theorize all they want, but we're most likely never going to know. Even with the advantage of forensic science. Too much time has past, too much physical evidence lost.

I remember an interview with yet another Ripper researcher (I believe it was Patricia Cornwell) a few years ago, and something she said really stayed with me. She said that the shameful thing about the Ripper murders is that the victims have been forgotten.

And its true. People know all the details of Jack's profile, where the murders took place, how many there were and the grusome details... but does anyone remember the names of the victims? Does anyone know anything about their lives?

They were just prostitutes. Thats what people know. And with that simple statement, these women are discarded as human beings. Who cares about them, they were just prostitutes. They weren't important people who had lives and dreams and family. No one thinks about the horror of their last moments.

This same shameful thing continues to happen all the time. We remember O.J. Simpson and the media sensation around his trial, and we still hear sensational new theories about the JonBenet Murder... but all the focus is on whodunit. Even the thousands of victims from 9/11 have been forgotten because Shrub has so deftly turned the focus to wiping out terrorism, "WMD", and this ongoing war. The victims as people are forgotten. And that is shameful.

Remember the victims, those souls who have been left behind in this quest for whodunit.

Poached Egg Haiku

2005-06-28T12:16:00.000-06:00

The yolk breaks open
spreading liquid sunshine all
over my warm toast.

My Name is Pandora...

2005-06-26T23:04:00.000-06:00

... and I'm a CSI addict...

You Know You're Addicted to CSI When...

You know the biographies of ALL the personnel from the CSI website.

You never work (or go out) Thursday nites because you'll miss CSI (although you tape it anyway).

You can't sleep knowing that something exciting is going to happen on the next episode.

Your friend asks you about the episode with "the sparkling room thingie," and you don't even have to think about it before informing them they're thinking of Scooba Doobie-Do.

Your puppy is called VEGAS as a compromise, because none of your kids could stop arguing over whether it was gonna be called Grissom, Warrick, Greggo or Nicky......

You start knocking on walls in hope of finding a dead body between them.

You walk around with a Mag-lite.

You change your lighting to UV lighting, just to see those stains in your carpet.

You dust for prints in your knife drawer.

You wrap your house with yellow crime-scene tape.

You wear latex gloves while at home.

You suddenly study chemistry to understand more about those chemical reactions.

You've changed your quote from "Smile at the world, and the world will smile back" to "Concentrate on what cannot lie... The evidence."

When you were a kid, you wanted to be an astronaut. Now you want to be a CSI.

When you are the leader of a group, you think, "What kind of a leader should I be? Gris Style or Horatio?"

You stare at Grissom's eyeglasses and Horatio's shades, then search for the exact pair (or at least close to it!)

You plan on living in Las Vegas or Miami.

Your choice of car? The one like Horatio has.

You have a jacket with the word "Forensics" written on the back.

You'd even settle for a shirt with the same word.

You read HAMLET, cause it was mentioned that HORATIO came from the name of Hamlet's best bud, Horatio.

You got arrested when found crossing the yellow tape.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to CSI.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

Real Boobz

2005-06-26T22:44:00.000-06:00

I watched a movie from the '70's this weekend that had nudity in it. You know what struck me? REAL BOOBZ!

Nowadays, boobz all seem to look alike. Big and fake. But in this movie, they were all real. No implants. So many different shapes and sizes. Perky, pointed, rounded, droopy. It was quite refreshing, for a change.

How sad is that?

Willendorf Body-Size Icon

2005-06-23T23:05:00.000-06:00

There is an online group, which shall remain nameless, who caters to those witches wanting to lose weight. This group was created because the group owner, who shall also remain nameless, says that (I am quoting a post from her):

A) There is tremendous pressure in the pagan community to be fat and unhealthy and wear tents and say you feel great about yourself...

AND

B) Many of the women on this list have experienced the pressure to conform to that unhealthy notion. Any move to lose weight or get in shape is met with "But you need to love yourself just the way you are..." "Don't be to hard on yourself..."

Now, I live in the same community as this nameless group owner, and I have to say, I have never experienced such a thing. I _do_ feel there is more acceptance from the pagan community in regards to all sizes of people, but I have never heard of fat pagans trying to talk other fat pagans out of losing weight or getting fit & healthy. OR making catty comments about the more svelte-figured pagans.

I _have_ heard people say "Love yourself the way you are." I NEVER interpreted that to mean-- "STAY FAT. If the Venus of Willendorf looked good enough to be worshiped as a Goddess, then who cares if you're fat."

I could rant on and on about what I think of this person who shall remain nameless and her nameless group, but instead I'll turn it over to my pagan audience (if I even have one out there...)

What do YOU think the pagan community attitude toward obesity is like? Do YOU feel forced by your pagan community to comform/accept the Venus of Willendorf as a body-size icon?

Lions Rock

2005-06-23T22:58:00.000-06:00

... And here is why... Check it:

Ethiopian girl reportedly guarded by lions
Authorities: Cats chased off men trying to force her to marry
The Associated Press
Updated: 6:25 p.m. ET June 21, 2005

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia - A 12-year-old girl who was abducted and beaten by men trying to force her into a marriage was found being guarded by three lions who apparently had chased off her captors, a policeman said Tuesday.

The girl, missing for a week, had been taken by seven men who wanted to force her to marry one of them, said Sgt. Wondimu Wedajo, speaking by telephone from the provincial capital of Bita Genet, about 350 miles southwest of Addis Ababa.

She was beaten repeatedly before she was found June 9 by police and relatives on the outskirts of Bita Genet, Wondimu said. She had been guarded by the lions for about half a day, he said.

“They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest,” Wondimu said.

“If the lions had not come to her rescue, then it could have been much worse. Often these young girls are raped and severely beaten to force them to accept the marriage,” he said.

Take that, you MOFOs!!!

You can read the rest of this article HERE.

Reefer Madness

2005-06-08T13:52:00.000-06:00

Supreme Court: Feds can prosecute medical pot users

Suzanne Herel, Chronicle Staff Writer

Monday, June 6, 2005

The federal government may prosecute people who use marijuana for medical reasons, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled today -- even if they live in states where use of the drug is protected by law.

The decision delivered a blow to medical marijuana advocates, who had hoped for a precedent-setting ruling in their favor.

So you can get a prescription for using weed medicinally, but you can be arrested for taking your prescription...

Personally, I support the use of medical marijuana. I believe it can be a life-saver for people with chronic pain conditions, MS, glaucoma, those recovering from the after-effects of chemotherapy, etc. It helps relieve the pain, relaxes muscles & increases appetite, among other things.

I think its ridiculous that weed is illegal, and alcohol is not. I think alcohol is much more dangerous. It's much more incapacitating to the user, and the effects last a lot longer-- including that hangover the next day. Plus, a person's personality often changes with alcohol use. One can become billigerent or abusive, over emotional, sexually inhibited. I've never read stories in the news of someone plying a person with weed so that they could take advantage of them at a frat party.

People can be prescribed (and take) potentially incapacitating and otherwise illegal pain medications such as morphine, but not medical marijuana. I think the Supreme Court is out of step.

Just my opinion.

You can read the rest of the article HERE.

Think About It

2005-06-01T23:44:00.000-06:00

If we reduce the population of the Earth to a small town with 100 people and keep the proportions, it will look like this:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (northern and southern)
8 Africans

52 women
48 men

70 coloured-skins
30 Caucasians

89 heterosexuals
11 homosexuals

6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be from the United States of America

80 would have bad living conditions

70 will be uneducated

50 will be underfed

1 would die

2 would be born

1 will have a computer

1 (only one) will have higher education

If you look at the world from this point of view, you will see how there is a big need of solidarity, understanding, patience and education.

Also think about the following:

If this morning you've woke up healthy, you are happier then 1 million people that will not survive next week.

If you never suffered a war, the loneliness of the jail cell, the agony of torture, or hunger, you are happier than 500 million people in the world.

If you can enter into a church (mosque) without fear of jail or death, you are happier than 3 million people in the world.

If there is food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer than 75% of the people in the world.

If you have bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, which are well-to-do.

If you read this you are three times more blessed because:

1. Somebody just thought of you.
2. You don't belong to the 200 million people that CANNOT read. And...
3. You have a computer!

Just So You Know...

2005-06-01T18:56:00.000-06:00

When I returned to my car after lunch, I had a business card tucked in my window, plugging this site. No one around me in the parking lot received the business card. How did they know? Musta been my pagan bumperstickers...

Can't wait to see how their website and product line develops....

In Pagan News Recently

2005-06-01T18:25:00.000-06:00

Okay, if yer pagan, you've probably seen this news story floating around. I'm still seething.

Divorced Wiccans fight decree shielding son from their beliefs

By The Associated Press
05.30.05

INDIANAPOLIS — A Wiccan activist and his ex-wife are challenging a court order that they must protect their 9-year-old son from what the divorce decree terms their "non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals."

Thomas E. Jones and Tammy Bristol of Indianapolis are fighting a Marion Superior Court stipulation that they shelter the boy from their religion. The Indiana Civil Liberties Union has taken on the case, appealing the December decree to the Indiana Court of Appeals.

This is NOT a case of one parent not wanting the Ex to corrupt their child. The parents are *BOTH* pagan, and have no objections to their child being raised pagan. Its the court and other services involved that have the objection. UHM... FREEDOM OF RELIGION, ANYONE?!?!?

You can read the rest of the article HERE.

Got Me

2005-05-23T13:49:00.000-06:00

Been pegged by TH Cove. So here:

Total volume of music files on computer:

errr... how do you do that?

Last CD I bought:

Bellylicious... Eastern Indian and Turkish bellydancing music!!!

Song playing right now:

Nada. Enjoy the silence.

Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me:

Depeche Mode --> entire Violator CD

Fiona Apple --> Sleep to Dream... and Criminal

The Presidents of the United of America --> Lump

Squeeze --> Tempted

Yaz --> Midnight

5 people I'm passing this to:

I'm not. I think this one has made the rounds quite enough.

Holy Yoni!

2005-05-22T11:56:00.000-06:00

Boy, do I love creative people. And I have for you two MUST see sites. These women are using the ol' vagina to make money-- but not in the way you think! Check it:

Crochet My Crotch... when you care enough to send the very.... strangest....
You can even request piercings! My favorite is the not-so-subtle tampon carrier.

AND

The Velvet Vulva-- because you can never have to many vulvas!
Complete with clitoris! I'd love a purse... but would I carry it?

Now why haven't _I_ thought of making something like this to sell?

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

2005-05-21T13:43:00.000-06:00

Just down the road from me...

The local Christian school puts up this display about once a year. Thats about all I have to say about that...

No. Wait. To quote a few bumperstickers:

Guess I did have something more to say....

CSI Rocks!

2005-05-20T16:19:00.000-06:00

I don't watch much TV, except on Thursday nights, when I am a total TV whore.

Did you see the season finale of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation last night!?!? It TOTALLY ROCKED, let me tell you!!! Great guest direction by Quentin Tarantino. George Eads really surpassed himself with his acting this time, he did an excellent job, as did the whole cast. But this was totally his episode.

Of course, there had to be a bit of suspension of belief when it came to the storyline, but overall, it worked. It was a bit hard for me to believe that only one cop was at the crime scene, and that the psycho could anticipate that only one cop and one CSI would show up at the otherwise deserted crime scene. And that psycho could kidnap Nick without the cop noticing, even if said cop *was* hurling his guts out. (*snort* no pun intended!)

Some other stuff was hard to believe, but can't recall what it was just now. It was overshadowed by the ever-increasing suspense.

But the best part is, Grissom didn't by chance die or otherwise disappear from the CSI team by the end of the episode. I've been hearing rumors that this was William Petersen's last season. After the show, I googled him and found this article. Looks like he'll be around for at least another season. Whew! That's good news. I'm Grissom's biggest fan.

If I thought I could stand blood spatter & the smell & look of decomposing bodies, I would totally want to be a CSI. I think the work is fascinating. And not the "Hollywood" version, the real stuff. I am extremely detail-oriented by nature, I think I'd be very good at collecting and processing evidence. I'd probably make a good lab rat. I've even gone so far as to look into college programs geared toward forensics... well, ya never know.... I AM looking for a new career...

New & Blue

2005-05-19T13:17:00.000-06:00

Doncha *love* getting new undies? I sure do! And it was definately time.

But the best part is... some of 'em are BLUE! I haven't had blue undies for the longest. Seemed like all I could find in the stuff I like was pink. Okay, hot pink, yes. Leopard printed hot pink. Snakeskin printed hot pink and purple-ish. Hot pink tiger striped. But still pink. Until NOW!

Now I have some blue-on-blue paisley and blue & peach stripes and blue solid blue. I am quite excited. YES, over UNDERWEAR!

Chimeras

2005-05-12T18:15:00.000-06:00

Okay, I feel I am a pretty open minded individual. And I *do* support the controversial stem-cell research... but THIS... this is... not right... in fact, it seems... wrong.... way wrong....

New Federal Guidelines Will Allow Creation of Human-Animals
Chimeras

Stem Cell Research Guide Permits Creation of Human-Animal Chimeras

WASHINGTON, DC, April 27, 2005 (ENS) - A new set of guidelines
for human embryonic stem cell research issued Monday by the National Academies
of Sciences would permit the creation of human-animal hybrids, but would not allow
them to breed. The guidelines permit the introduction of human embryonic stem
cells into nonhuman mammals, "under circumstances where no other experiment
can provide the information needed."

Want to read more? The rest of the article is HERE.

Beltaine Top 10 List

2005-05-02T17:58:00.000-06:00

Ahhh... the lusty month of May... and for your entertainment pleasure....

TOP 10 BELTAINE PICK-UP LINES:

10. Hey babe, what's your sign? What's its ascendant? What's you planet alignment with Venus during Cancer's revolving around the fourth house?

9. Read any good Llywellyn books lately?

8. Would you like to come over to my place and do things widdershins?

7. Your feet must be tired, cuz you've been spiral dancing in my mind all night long...

6. Haven't I seen you someplace before in a past life?

5. Yes, I'm handfasted, but thats not legal marriage.

4. So, do you draw down the moon here often?

3. What's a pretty wood-nymph like you doing alone in a circle like this?

2. You have the prettiest third eye I've ever seen.

AND THE NUMBER ONE BEST BELTAINE PICK-UP LINE IS....

1. Saaaayyyyy.... is that a Maypole in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

*** Don't get it? Not funny? Hmm... you must not be pagan....

Me Speak Good

2005-04-19T22:19:00.000-06:00

Evidently there's not a shred of good ol' Suthren lady in me... guess I didn't watch enough Dukes of Hazard as a child....

Your Linguistic Profile:

80% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

So Totally 80's

2005-04-15T12:31:00.000-06:00

So, like, do you totally remember that bitchen valley-speak?

TERMS OF HIGHEST PRAISE, used to describe anything that is exceptional or outstanding:
twitchen
awesome
bitchen
tubular
vicious
wicked

WORDS THAT ADD EMPHASIS, to use in place of "very" or "extremely". These terms can be teamed up for maximum effect, i.e.-mondo mega awesome
mondo
mega
super
totally
to the max

SOMEONE WHO'S TOTALLY UNDESIRABLE-- a loser to the max
beastie
Dudley
geek
grisly

A PERSON WHO IS SUPER DUMB:
airhead
goober

SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY WEIRD:
zod
honker
melvin

SOMEONE WHO IS BOTH DUMB *AND* WEIRD:
jel (as in, a real Jell-o-head)

SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT IS ICKY, YUCKY OR GROTESQUE:
gnarly
grody
skanky

SOMETHING THATS OLD AND OUTDATED:
groovy
Joanie

MORE COLORFUL AND DESCRIPTIVE WAYS OF SAYING "I FIND THAT OFFENSIVE":
barf me out
gag me with a spoon

Somehow, FER SHURE! didn't make it on the list... hmmm... I guess its just totally mondo Joanie fer shure...

Nothing, Anything, Everything, Something

2005-04-13T20:13:00.000-06:00

PANDORA HAS NOTHING TO SAY! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! NADA! ZIP! ZERO! ZILCH!

And so, for your reading pleasure, something I dug up from a creative writing class I took in Junior High. The assignment was to write about anything. Seems I've been strange and twisted even since 8th grade.

UNTITLED

"You know what I really hate?"

"No. What?"

"I hate writing about anything."

"Why?"

"Because anything could mean... anything."

"You must admit though, there's alot to choose from."

"But it always seems that when you can write about anything, well-- there's NOTHING to write about."

"Just think, though! You can write about ANYTHING! Even EVERYTHING!"

"But I don't want to write about everything. I just want to write about something."

"Hey, wait a minute! If you wrote about something, you wouldn't be writing about anything, you'd be writing about something-- and that's not what you're supposed to write about."

"Well, then I couldn't write about everything, either."

"That's right. I forgot about that."

"But... maybe no one would notice."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the things are all the same. The only difference is that there are SOME things, or ANY things or EVERY things-- there are even NO things!"

"You mean nothing."

"That kind of thing, too. But-- who would actually notice the difference between an anything and an everything? I mean, if I wrote about everything instead of anything-- no one would know."

"Well... but-- if they found out, wouldn't they do something to you?"

"Uh... what do you mean?"

"Well, you know-- torture... or maybe the electric chair. What if they hang you?! Or gas you?! Or--"

"Well..."

"You'd DIE!"

"After all that-- probably. But you never know."

"But-- you mean to say you'd actually DIE-- just because you couldn't think of ANYthing to write for creative writing class?! You would take the chance and write about EVERYthing instead? Condemn yourself because of a stupid writing assignment?!?! Is that what you WANT? You're CRAZY! INSANE! Dumb, too, I might add. NO! Don't do it! YOU'VE GOT TO WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING! Please, I'm begging you! Write about anything or nothing at all!"

"Nope."

"What!?! Why not?"

"I couldn't bear the thought of an 'F'."

Teacher comments: "Pandora"-- Nice use of dialogue!! A very "refreshing" approach to writing about anything!! I'm amused! (A hint that would make the conversation a little less confusing: indent for each new speaker.) I suppose you're going to tell me that you want "anything" for a grade, too!! (Ha!Ha!)

Well. We students didn't call Mr. Richard D., "Dick," for nothing.

C & C Can Bite Me Factory

2005-04-10T18:07:00.000-06:00

Okay, I just have to say it... Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles can just BITE ME! I am just so sick of the media going on and on about their married bliss.

To listen to the media its like this beautiful fairy-tale ending to their years-long unrequeited love...

Uh, HELL-O!?! They were both ADULTERERS! Umm, their beautiful, romantic love affair *was* an AFFAIR for so long BECAUSE THEY WERE BOTH MARRIED TO OTHER PEOPLE! Their beautiful, romantic love affair made their spouses completely miserable and unhappy! Doesn't anyone remember that!?! Apparently not. At least, not the media.

Oh, and THEN I read today that the happy, smarmy couple went to church during their honeymoon. Oh, well, I guess that practically makes them *saints* now. Puh-leeze. GAG ME WITH A SPOON.

Immersed In My Own Culture

2005-03-30T17:08:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was chatting with a woman who works at the gym where I workout, and I said something about "Blah blah me and my Pagan friends did blah blah." And she says, "What?" And I say, "What?" and she says, "Did you say Pagan?"

Yes, I said PAGAN.

"Why do you call yourselves that?" she asks.

UH-oh.

"Because we are Pagans." I state the obvious.

"Meaning what?" she asks.

"Meaning... uh... we don't follow a Christian religion... " Holy CRAP, I'm thinking, what did I just get myself into?

"But why do you say pagan?" she persists. What the hell does she NOT understand about the word "pagan"? I consider flashing my pentacle at her and saying "NOW do you get it?"

"Because... we follow a nature-based spiritual path... like... pagans do..." I'm really struggling here. "Pagan MEANS 'person who dwells in the countryside'... you know..." She cuts me off--

"I *know* that," she says, "I just think its funny that you go around calling yourselves PAGANS."

Well, I think privately, actually, I call myself a WITCH, but since you're already freakin', I'll think I'll just let that little fact slide... And thankfully, *she* let the whole conversation slide at that point.

But holy *balls*. I suddenly realized how immersed I am in my own culture. All my current friends are witches or pagans. We all "talk" pagan, to the point that someone's non-pagan friend who was hanging with us one day was just baffled about some of the jokes being told and other things being discussed. I've been thinking in terms of Sabbats for so long that I actually forgot about Easter this year.

Then, I make some comment around someone who isn't pagan and BLAM! I realize that *my* life reality isn't part of the greater world out there. I've been fortunate to have found a group of like-minded friends. I've been lucky enough that I haven't yet experienced any really negative reactions from other people about my spiritual path.

I hate to say that this conversation the other day made me realize I need to be more careful about what I say, but perhaps I do, cuz you never know *how* someone might react, or what they might do... and thats too bad.

Those Odd Pig Parts

2005-03-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my man & I were at the grocery store, and I remembered that we *still* have this calico bean soup mix I've planned on making like, forever. But we need a hambone for it.

Well, hams are *big*, and even if you can find a small one, its still way too much for only 2 people to eat. And all my friends seem to have a ham aversion, for some reason. Weren't lucky enough to be born in the midwest, I s'pose. But I wondered if maybe you could get just a hambone from the meat counter, or something. So I asked the nice meat counter lady.

"So, uh, I have this soup mix that calls for using a hambone, but can you buy *just* the hambone or if not what would you recommend, if there is anything?" I so eloquently put it.

She says, "Sure," and turns and walks away. Sure what? I asked about 3 different questions. We follow her. "Here," she says, pointing at a small refrigerated endcap.

Small packages labelled: ham shank, pork neck bones, ham hocks. "Any of these?" I ask. "Sure," she says, and leaves. We peruse the ham shanks, neck bones and hocks.

"Well," I say to my man, "any preferences?" "Uh... maybe not neck bones," he says. I agree. I pick up a package of ham shank. "Look good?" I say. Being new to ever cooking with such animal parts, we have no clue. "Uh... sure..." he says.

I whisper to him, "What part of the pig *is* the shank, anyway?" A lady and her husband, who are inspecting ham hocks titter. "I mean," I say a little lounder, "I know what a FLANK is, but what's a SHANK? Neck bone is pretty obvious. And the hock, yes, I believe I know what part that is... I'm just not so sure about the shank." My man shakes his head. The lady points to a part of her lower leg. "I believe its this part," she says. "Ah," my man and I say.

"So... shanks then?" I ask him again. "I prefer the hocks, myself," the nice lady says to us. "Any particular reason?" I ask, "Like, is the meat more tender or taste better or something?" "Well..." she shrugs helplessly, "I just like it better... better flavor, I guess. Maybe."

I raise my eyebrows at my man. "Hocks, then?" I ask. My man shrugs. We look at the hocks. They look a bit nasty, mostly because I like my meat to look anonymous, but I can distinctly identify skin and body area of pig with the hocks. "So... uh... these look... good?" I say, grabbing a package. Like we would know! By this time, we've spent far too much time on this venture already. We take our hocks and hotfoot it to the checkout.

So today I have boiled the hocks. And added the beans and spices. And celery, carrots, onion and garlic. And removed the hocks, let them cool, and chopped the meat off of them and returned it to the pot. It was a bit goobery and distasteful, but I believe I'm not so freaked out about it anymore. I'm looking forward to soup. And next time, should the occasion arise, I'll be able to shop pig parts with confidence...

Howlin' at the Moon

2005-03-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

MMMmmmm, look at that moon! The moon, the moon, the beautiful moon, it hangs in the sky like a big silver spoon!... or something like that.

Ever stood on the bank of a stream, or the shore of a lake and looked at the moon and just.... aaaooow.... aaaoowwww..... aaaaaaaaOOOOOOOooooooooo!!! AAAaaaOOOOOoooOOOoooo!!!

At the top of your lungs! Not caring who heard, cuz you just had to HOWL? Just had to rip your clothes off and plunge into the icy mountain water and just howl your head off? Laid in the grass looking up at the sky and felt like the stars were about to shower down around you as you howled? Froze your ass off at 3 AM beacuse you had to stand outside in your jammies in 20 degree weather and watch the moon float across the sky and drink in the Milky Way? And just loved that fact that you're a friggin' crazy-ass nature-worshipping drum-beating, fire-dancing, howling WITCH!? Aaaooooww, aaaaooooooowww, AAAAAAOOOooooOOooOoOooo!!!

Oh. Yeah. Well, uh.... me neither... nope... never happened...

A Cat's Trauma

2005-03-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

When you hear a certain little sound.... kah bump kah bump kah bump kah bump.... thats the sound of a cat galloping through the house. Thats the sound of a cat with a kling-on.

You know.... a poopie stuck to their butt fur. Galloping ofttimes releases the kling-on, leaving it somewhere on the floor for you to step on at a later time.

What!?!?! Too much information? C'mon now, if you have pets, you've surely witnessed this trauma of the animal kingdom. Dogs usually drag themselves around and leave skidmarks. Cats gallop. In my experience.

Why should I blog on such a thing? Yep, you guessed it. I heard galloping this morning.

Technical Advances (& retreats)

2005-03-23T18:28:00.000-07:00

So, my cell phone is approximately 5 years old. To my partner, that is like, waaaaaaaaaaay too ancient. Its a travesty to the technological world. Must have updated cell phone! So yesterday we tra-la-la merrily to our service provider's store to look at new phones for both of us. Cuz, see, his is about 2 years old and THATS a travesty, too. Its not his fault, he's a born techie geek. Which he *proudly* admits, so don't go commenting that I'm so mean to him. He *struts* when called geek.

Back to the cell phone scenario. Come to find out, we both have like a $100 credit toward new phones, PLUS we can get a $50 rebate. So just about any phone we might want is fair game.

Have I mentioned that my personal motto is: "Change is bad"? I prefer a *simple* phone. No flippie things with extra buttons, dials, buzzers or zingers. Guess what? In the 5 years since I got a cell phone, they quit making them simple. And since I've got $150 at my disposal-- why, I can afford LOTS of extra button, dials, buzzers and zingers.

So I submitted to the pressure of technological advance. Change is... inevitable. I am now the proud owner of a silvery flippie phone, which is not only a cell phone with voice command dialing and speaker phone, but has text messaging, web availibility and a camera and who knows whatall else.

You know what? I've figured out how to answer it. I've even sent a text message successfully, though I think that may have been a fluke. Want to know what I think about it so far? IT VIOLATES PET PEEVE NUMBER FIVE! This phone is made for right-handers. Every time I answer the friggin' phone I hit the volume control and some other buttons that are down the side of it. Now, if I were *right* handed, I wouldn't even touch those buttons when I held the phone. I probably wouldn't even know that they exist yet. But no, EVERY TIME I answer it, I boop one of those buttons and screw something up.

Well, the phone came with an instuctional CD and a book about an inch thick, so I guess I'll have to take the tour on how to use it. But that just seems WRONG, doesn't it? I mean, its a PHONE, yo!

Song of the Sick

2005-03-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

Oh, my head is filled with tons of snot,
Doo dah, doo dah,
It might sound fun, but it is not,
Oh da doo dah day

Coughing up my lungs,
Germs cover my tongues, (?)
My head is filled with tons of snot,
Oh da doo dah daaaaayyyyy.....

Thank yah....thahnkyahverramuch....

Is the post office trying to tell me something?

2005-03-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the mail, it arrived. In a small, flat box. Why it arrived, I do not know. What I shall do with it, I do not know. WHY WAS I SENT A DIAPER!?!?!

NO, it was not used. Its a pristine one. But WHY? I have no children. My cats don't wear diapers. Nor do I. Nor does my partner. Nor do we wish to. Nor would this diaper we recieved in the mail fit us, even if we wanted to try it.

After my initial shock of finding the nicely packaged diaper in our mailbox, I placed it on the desk with the rest of our daily mail, and went out. I was still out and about when I received a frantic call from my partner.

"Are you trying to tell me something?!??! WHY did we get a diaper in the mail!??! Is there something I should know?!?!"

"No. Not from me, anyway. Is there something *I* should know? Do you have something *YOU* need to tell me?"

No, no expectation of any storks arriving for either of us. Well, thats good.

And yet. There it sits. A diaper. Just how many of these things were sent out to other unsuspecting people in a company's shameless attempt at promoting a new product? And how many thousands will be thrown away because no one in the household has any use for said product? And how many TONS of non-biodegradable promotional baby diaper pileage has been created? Like we need any more! I think I'm totally offended by this. No. I KNOW I'm offended by this.

AND WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS STUPID DIAPER!?!?!?

The Very Best of 'B' Horror

2005-03-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

All hail 'B' horror movies! And I must say, this weekend, I saw some of the best ever.

DEAD ABOVE GROUND. The title alone should have you sitting on the edge of your seat! The premise is that some Goth dude has gotten into witchcraft and is messing around with The Celt Gods (which he sometimes refers to as The Dark Gods). Well as luck would have it, he is unfortunately killed in an "accident", and fast forward one year, and its time for him to seek REVENGE.

Now, what makes this movie so spectacular is not the superb title, or the acadamy award winning acting, nor even Caro-syrup-and-red-food-coloring bloody special effects-- oh no. What makes this movie such a gem is that someone involved in the screenwriting of it actually took some time to look up some important words & concepts in witchcraft.

HOWEVER, they did NOT investigate further, and discover, say-- how to pronounce these words. Or learn exactly what the words meant.

So the sabbat Beltaine is referred to as Bel-TRAIN. And Mabon is May-bin. Or best of all, Samhain-- and I do agree, this word is tricky, being Celtic and all and pronounced Sow-wen-- or, by many Craft newbies-- Sam-hain. But in this movie-- Sam-BANE.

It gets better from there! One of my favorite parts is an invocation referring to "the SEVEN equinoxes between Beltrain and Maybin". Dude, what planet are you from? Cuz on our planet, there are only 2 equinoxes a year. Not to mention, its a *solstice* that falls between those 2 sabbats. And only one. And Mabon *is* an equinox.

Then there are the rules of witchcraft. Do they talk about the Witches' Rede? The Law of Threefold Return? NO! Its *much* more serious than that. The #1 rule of witchcraft is: NEVER LAUGH AT ONE WHO IS SKYCLAD. Well... I guess that could be appropriate, given certain circumstances....

Of course, there is lots of drama in this film. And of course I had a favorite dramatic moment. Picture it-- the school counselor being held captive by her insane student returned from beyond the dead. Her only chance for survival is to appease him by using her counseling expertise. "I understand how you feel!" she cries, to which he responds passionately, "You'll NEVER understand how I feel because you are TWO ASTRO LEVELS BELOW ME!!!"

This movie was truly a work of 'B' horror art.

Overheard

2005-03-11T16:50:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting at the Chick-fil-A the other day, enjoying a juicy chicken sandwich, coleslaw and large diet Coke and reading a book. Although it was later in the day, the joint was chock-full of teenagers, presumably there after school for a bite.

After a while, the place had considerably cleared out, but for a table nearby, where 5 or 6 teenage girls sat and gossiped, whined and drew attention to themselves in general. This being the case, I had difficulty concentrating on my book and overheard the following conversation.

Ringleader Teen Girl #1: So, omigawd, he's been going out with her for ages now, and he's like, really pissed because she won't put out.

Teen Lemming Girl#2: Yeah, so what'd he say?

Ringleader Teen Girl #1: He is like, SO fed up, he's just ready to dump her. Because she says she doesn't want to have sex. She just doesn't want to.

Teen Lemming Girl #3: What a bitch!

Teen Lemmings #2, #4, #5, #6: Yeah! No kidding! I can't believe her nerve!

Ringleader Teen Girl #1: What does she mean, she "doesn't want to have sex"?!?! You know what I think, I think he should DATE RAPE her. She deserves it!

Teen Lemming #2: Yeah, he SHOULD date-rape her, it would serve her right!

Other Teen Lemmings: Yeah! She deserves to be date-raped! She's got some nerve! Yeah, he should do it! (and other general agreement)

Ringleader Teen Girl #1: Yeah he said if she didn't put out the next time they went out, he was going to dump her, but they went out they other nite and he's still with her, so I don't know...

Did I just HEAR that!?!?! I DID NOT just hear that, did I? DID I???? WTF?!?!?!?! "HE SHOULD DATE RAPE HER"!?!??!?! What has gotten into people? Do these girls HEAR what they are saying!?!?!?

After a while, I realized that the reason my jaw was aching was because it had been hanging on the floor for so long. I am *still* appalled. I was on the verge of getting up and going over to their table and saying "Excuse me, sorry, you don't know me but..." and knock all their fool heads together. They weren't just being catty, they were SERIOUS. They seriously believed that this girl did not have a RIGHT to not want to have sex; she deserved to be raped.

I can't begin to fathom what it must be like for kids to be in public school (or any school, for that matter) anymore. Holy CRAP! School shootings, gang-banging, date-rape drugs, racism and hazing and who-knows-what-all going on, out of control!

My friend's teenage daughter is having problems with bullies and school, and it isn't that calling names and gossiping kind of trouble. The chick that was pissed at her went and TOOK THE NUTS OFF THE TIRES ON HER CAR WITHOUT HER KNOWING IT. She was driving around with a truckload of friends and had only a few bolts holding the tires on. Luckily, no one was hurt. But that's SERIOUS shyte! Someone could have been killed!

What in the world is being done to stop this kind of attitude and behavior? Listen to me, I sound like a parent or something. But the question is still valid.

Attack of the Killer Noodle

2005-03-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

So I'm reaching into the pantry to get something out, and I grab the boxx of lasagna noodles to move it and suddenly--- KA Pow! Large flat noodle explosion! They go sliding out of the boxx and absolutely shatter everywhere.

Scares my poor cat half to death. His legs are churning, his nails are scrabbling on the tiles, he is OUTTA THERE!

Meanwhile, I now have a mess of noodle shards all over the kitchen floor to clean up. And all I wanted was a can of tomato soup for lunch. It hardly seems fair.

It seems I am attacked by food on a daily basis. If it ain't goin' after my beezooms and trying to jump into my cleavage, then it splattering, jumping and spitting at me some other way. Must I wear an apron at all times? Or a bib?

Once as a child, I was attacked by a mug of hot tea. THAT left blisters. On my FOOT. Hot cheese also likes to stick to the roof of my mouth, although I don't know that such a thing can be qualified as a true food attack.

I suppose I'd better not grow tomatoes in my garden or I'll find myself attacked by a killer one.

Sushi & Sleepover

2005-03-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

Where *have* I been?!?! Well, last Friday started the endless birthday celebration of my friend, L.

On Saturday afternoon, preparations began for Sushi Nite. First, we completely cleaned the kitchen. Then, S. arrived with a truckload of vegetables, and the shushi-ing began in earnest! It was our first time making sushi.

C & S were kitchen witches extraordinaire... S prepped carrots, cucumbers, avacodos and more. C had the sticky rice ready to go. She made the first roll and an excellent job she did, too! She became our sushi-rolling coach. L the birthday girl rolled next. A nice spicy crab concoction.

Then I stepped up to the plate and created a most interesting combination, yes, it is true. I am usually a Philidelphia roll whore, but alas, alack, no salmon tonite. When in doubt, IMPROVISE. So I broke out the Unagi (thats eel, to non-sushi-ers). Unagi with cream cheese and sprouty-things is a very good combo!

But C's roll took the prize! a lovely vegetarian roll BUT with the rice ON THE OUTSIDE. And then rolled in sesame seeds to boot. She rocked!

Meanwhile, S whipped up some delish miso soup with tofu and mushrooms. DEEEEEVINE, people! I highly recommend sushi nites!

But WAIT! The birthday weekend is not yet over! Come sit on the couch with us and watch a stack of movies!

Movie #1- Thirteen. This movie gave me something I should add to the pet peeve list. It continuously used those jittery, close-up, far-away, close-up, cock-eyed camera angles. I began to get a headache watching it. It was one of those movies that sucks you in with the "omg, what in the world is this child gonna do to herself now?" thing... AND THEN LEFT IT ALL UNRESOLVED!!!!

Movie #2- 'Salem's Lot. One of my fave Stephen King books of ALL TIME. This was not the 70's version starring that blond Starsky and Hutch dude. The cast was potentially excellent-- Rob Lowe, Donald Sutherland, Rutger Hauer. BE NOT FOOLED PEOPLE! Although it closely followed the book, well... it just did nothin' for me... so bummed...

During the second movie, people began to drop like flies because my this time it was late nite). I was the only one who made it thru to the end. Then I still had insomnia and stayed up until about 3 AM.

But wait! THERE'S STILL MORE! At 5:30 AM the b-day girl suffered from insomnia of her own, and so the movie watching began again!

Movie #3- The Grudge. Well, they tried. Had all the right ingredients. Just didn't pan out.

Movie #4- Saw. Interesting premise. Could NEVER be pulled off in real life. Liked it anyway.

Somewhere around movies 4 & 5, we had breakfast....

Movie #5- Close Your Eyes. Dr. Kovach from ER plays a hypno-therapist with psychic abilities and helps solve a child-serial-murder case. Not too bad.

I crashed during Movie #6- White Chicks. And since I had seen Movie #7 The Manchurian Candidate, I skipped out. However, it *is* a most excellent movie. Go Denzel.

And thus, this brief summation of the party weekend now closes.

Oh... my...

2005-03-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it appears my MPD got a little out of hand with my last post... LOL! But seriously, the peeve list *was* a conglomeration of peeves from several personalities... just not all residing within myself... OR *WERE* they!?!?! I'll keep ya guessing....

The Really Big List of Pet Peeves

2005-03-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

1. Undecorated walls. Put some art on your walls, people!
2. Seatbelts that cut into my neck 'cuz they're made for TALL PEOPLE ONLY.
3. Cars with jacked-up bass. Dude, I'm trying to listen to my OWN radio!
4. One-sided relationships. I'm not going to do ALL the work, yo!
5. Any tool made for RIGHT-HANDERS ONLY. I wanna use it too, dumbass!
6. If YOU can put preacher boy and God Bless America stickers all over your friggin' car, why you gotta be so worked up about the pagan stickers on MY car?
7. Similarly, if you can wear a crucifix around your neck at work, why you gotta dis on my friend for wearing a pentacle around hers?
8. DRAMA QUEENS. Thats my role, back off.
9. Fax machines that call my home number. Twice in a row. At least once a week.
10. USE YOUR TURN SIGNALS DUMBASS!
11. Broken spines on paperback books. Don't fold the book in half when you're reading, moron. Show some respect!
12. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, I may be a witch but I ain't a friggin' mindreader!
13. If you can read this, YER TOO FRIGGIN' CLOSE! Back off my bumper, Mario!
14. People who walk in and put their purse and crap on my altar. Its sacred space, YO!
15. When some smartass types in 1234567890 'cuz my caller ID won't accept blocked numbers. If you don't want me to know your number, why the hell are you calling me?
16. High Priestess Syndrome. 'Nuff said.
17. Dusting. It just ain't gonna happen.
18. My friggin' cordless phone. If you've called me, you know why I hate it.
19. I hate jerkwads like Mr. Narcissistic OCD Ortega.** (**names have been changed to protect the non-innocent)
20. Amy.** (**names have been changed to protect the non-innocent)
21. There are lines that designate parking spaces for a REASON. Put your piecer IN BETWEEN them.
22. If you decide you don't want that frozen food item, put back in the friggin' FREEZER, not next to the magazines, tampons or canned green beans, dumbass.
23. I'm not IMing you for my health.
24. Just 'cuz yer so intoxicated that you can't even stand up anymore, doesn't mean you gotta use me as an armrest, ya stinkin' drunk.
25. Double-dippers.
26. Backwash.
27. SPELLCHECK is available FOR A REASON.
28. If you use it, PUT IT BACK where you found it. It ain't gonna migrate back there on its own.
29. The world ain't your friggin' ashtray, YO!
30. I don't care if you've seen the movie 7 million times, quit saying the lines just before the actors do, jerkwad!
31. If you made a committment with me, HONOR IT, don't blow me off just 'cuz something better to do came around, jerkoff.
32. How come you can be all sympathetic with your other friends, but I get the tough love program, beeeeyotch?
33. Dude, why you always gotta drive?
34. If YOU find it, YOU clean it up.
35. Don't wait until the last minute and then expect me to save your sorry hiney.
36. Ummm... Wendy? I think Dave would be really pissed if he knew how you screwed with my grilled chicken sandwich.
37. I PREFER to use my full name. I don't give you permission to shorten it just 'cuz you think its too much to say in one breath. DEAL WITH IT!
38. If you're gonna sit at that 4-way stop forever, then I'm goin'.
39. Can we commercialize the holidays any MORE, please?
40. No, I don't have money for busfare. If you knew you were taking the bus today, why didn't YOU bring money for bus fare?
41. I loathe the mall.

Open up a can of whoop-ass

2005-02-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

Took a self-defense class this weekend with my friend Garnet Girl. Not only was it free but it was most excellent. Thanks Garnet! But GAH! am I sore today.

We learned all sorts of ass-whooping techniques. Elbow strikes, knee strikes, how to get out of choke holds and headlocks, how to properly bitch-slap, why we shouldn't punch, and why we should pinch and where its best to do so. I was choked, grabbed, bear-hugged (in a not good way) and had my hair pulled. Some of it didn't bother me, and some of it really creeped me out.

Then, as our "final test" we did what they called THE ALLEY. Basically, we had to walk down a hallway, completely blindfolded. Then the guys in the padded suits would sneak up on you and attack you and you had to defend yourself and get away. The teachers would coach you if you were having trouble and classmates would cheer each other on.

OMG that was uncomfortable! After watching a couple people go ahead of me, I just had to do it, cuz I was getting too freaked out watching. I opened up a can of whoop-ass! It was scary, my adrenaline pumping, heart pounding; but it was also exhilarating and empowering. Oh yeah, I'm now one tough beeeeyotch!

Oww...

2005-02-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

I think I musta worked out a bit too hard at the gym yesterday. My abs hurt, my quads hurt, even my lats hurt. (I don't know if abs, quads & lats are real sporto-technical terms, but at least I know what I'm talking about.) Muscle owies. Such is the consequence for the making of my hot, sexy, curvy bod. Oh yes, I am one sexy beeeyotch.

I felt like working out with attitude, and so I wore my black tee with the red metallic lips on it to the gym. Nothin' like some big ol' red metallic lips stretched across your beezooms to fill ya with attitude!

On mellow days, I wear Tweety.

Warrior Spirit

2005-02-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

How do I define "warrior"?
What is my perception of a warrior woman?
Have I ever felt like a warrior in my life? When?

These and many other questions am I pondering this day. I have no definition of warrior. It is an alien concept to me.

My perception of a warrior woman is embodied in the goddess Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni. The invading Romans refused to acknowledge her queenship, although her own tribe did. Instead, the Romans whipped her and raped both her virgin daughters. And Boudicca rose up and said:

"I am not fighting for my queendom now.
I am fighting as an ordinary person, for my lost freedom,
my bruised body, and my outraged daughters."

And then she kicked some Roman ass!! She killed 80,000 before being defeated. Rather than be captured and further tortured by the Romans, Boudicca committed suicide. Legend says she was secretly buried on sacred ground. Buried standing up, her arm raised with her sword in her hand, Boudicca was faced south, forever defying the invaders from Rome. Now there is a warrior woman.

Any woman who stands up and speaks out against abuse is a warrior in my book. Those who work in battered women's shelters, those who educate the public on stopping abuse, those who say to abusers, "No more!" They are all warrior women.

The nurturing, giving spirit of woman makes her a warrior. Mother Theresa was a warrior of love and peace. Princess Diana was also. Women who spread peace, hope, and comfort are warriors. We are all warriors.

Which leads me to the last question. Have I ever felt like a warrior in my own life? By my own definition, I should say yes. But it is the feeling part that makes me hesitate. Been a warrior? I'm sure I have at sometime. Felt like one?... not that I can recall.

Myth, myth? Yeth, yeth!

2005-02-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, do you remember this one?

To punish humankind for accepting the stolen gift of fire, Zeus had a statue of a lovely woman created from marble. When it was finished, Athena breathed the breath of life into it, and it became a living woman.

Each of the gods and goddesses gave her a gift. Aphrodite taught her how to dance and flirt, Athena gave her wisdom, Apollo taught her to play music. The muses taught her to sing. Hermes gifted her with the abliity to tell clever lies, and gave her hands clever enough to steal. Lastly, Hera gifted the woman with curiousity. She was named Pandora; the "all-gifted".

Before she was sent down to earth to live, Zeus gave Pandora a marvelous box. It was intricately carved on all sides, the dark wood polished to a satin finish. It was fitted with a brass lock. "This box must be kept with you at all times," said Zeus, as he handed her the box and its brass key, "and you must never, ever open it. Nor must anyone else ever open it." But although he told her this, he did not tell her the reason why.

Pandora went to live on earth in a small village with a man called Epimetheus. Life was very pleasant, but always, in the back of her mind, she wondered about the box that she had brought with her.

As time passed, Pandora spent more and more time each day wondering about the contents of the box. One night as Pandora lay in bed, staring sleeplessly at the box, wondering what might be inside, she thought she heard a sound. She sat up and strained her ears. Not a sound... it was... a voice. And it was coming from the box.

"Pandora, Pandora... open the box! Let us out!" said the voice. Other small voices joined it. "Please Pandora!" "Open the box! We won't tell!" "Pandora, you must let us out!

It became more than Pandora could bear. She felt that curiosity was eating her alive. "Surely it wouldn't hurt if I opened the box just a little... just a little... only enough to barely peek inside," she muttered to herself, "Surely that cannot hurt, to open it just barely." With shaking hands, she untied the key from her girdle, and fitted it in the lock. "Yes! Yes! " cried the voices inside, "Open the box Pandora!"

Slowly, she turned the key, and felt the lock give. She knelt close to the lid of the box, and barely lifted it... just a little...

Pandora was thrown back by the frenzied, roaring cloud of demons escaping from the box. They crawled, they flew, they scrabbled over one another out of the box. They carried disease, illness, hunger, poverty, death, and many other awful things.

"What have I done!? What have I done!?" she screamed. With all her might, Pandora fought against the tide of demons and forced the lid of the box closed. But it was too late. Every last demon had escaped.

Pandora collapsed against the box and cried helplessly. And then she heard yet another voice. "Pandora, please, open the box."

"No!" she cried, "Haven't I done enough damage?"

"I can help," said the voice, "I am not like the others. Let me out and you will see."

I have already let out a thousand demons, thought Pandora. If this is yet one more, what difference will it make? Shaking and crying, she reached for the lid, and opened the box yet again.

Out flew a small creature with gossamer wings. It glowed with a beautiful golden light.

"You are not like the others," said Pandora, "What are you?"

The creature flew close, and kissed Pandora gently on the forehead.

"I am Hope," it said, and flew away.

PANDORA is considered the "Greek Eve". So that must make the box the apple equivalent. But what represented hope in the Genesis version? And how come its always the woman's fault?

The boxx is open!

2005-02-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

C'mon on in, stick yer head in the boxx and see what you find.Yer not scared, are you? Yes, its a little crazy in my boxx some days, but thats true for eveyone now and then, n'est ce pas? Welcome to my world..... bwa hahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!